Interviewing Your Doctors

Having been a VERY healthy person my entire life I was used to going for my yearly check ups and checking it off my list often being very annoyed if I had to wait more than 30 minutes in a Doctors office. I was a novice to the medical world and very medically ignorant. Except for watching ER and Grey's Anatomy that was the extent of my medical background.

So after receiving the diagnosis I was sent back to Dr. "G" , the Breast Surgeon. My husband Aharon and I sat in his office for 1 1/2 hours waiting for our turn. I decided to use the time to find out what the other women in the waiting room thought about him. I asked them to share their opinions of his knowledge, bedside manner and how informative he was with them. They were all fairly satisfied and found him to be OK. When it came to our turn we were brought into the examining room where we waited once again for about 15 minutes. Dr. "G" came in with his clipboard and probably looked up my name right before he walked into the room. He let me know what my diagnosis was, a DCIS in the right breast which would require a lumpectomy. He could fit me in next month. "What about the other biopsy that I have to get redone?" I asked.
"No, I see here you have one DCIS and I can take care of it with a simple lumpectomy". I continued to argue with him that I had another calcification that need to get re-biopsied since they didn't get enough cells to pathology the first time. He finally flipped the pages on his clipboard and agreed that I needed another biopsy. Not to worry. "What about radiation? I understand I will need 6 weeks of radiation." Oh, yes you will need about 7 weeks of radiation after you heal from the lumpectomy. He proceeded to do a very quick breast exam and told me to let his staff know when I wanted to schedule the surgery. I told then I would call them. NOT!
We were with him for less than 10 minutes and the only thing he was missing was chewing gum.
I couldn't believe I had just experienced this kind of treatment. He was dismissive, condescending, demeaning and treated me like I had a paper cut. Maybe it was a paper cut , buts its my paper cut and I certainly deserve better than this.

I quickly started to research through friends who had friends who went through this who to call.
I received many recommendations but the next hurtle was to find a Breast Surgeon in my Insurance Plan. So I started to Google and cross reference and make appts. I had 3 appts set up taking my films and pathology reports with me everywhere. Do not let go of your reports until you choose the right doctor for you. Get copies if you have to and remember that these are yours. You paid for them and own them.

My second interview was with Dr. "M" at Englewood Hospital. I entered the hospital which looked like a hotel lobby with a pianist and cellist playing. I waited 15 minutes to see the Doctor.
Dr. "M" did a FULL breast exam like I had never had before , had me get dressed and then brought me into her office. Once in her office she had the films already up so that she could explain everything to me. I brought a flip video camera with me to record her so that I could remember everything. She drew diagrams and educated me on what I had and what we still needed to explore with a Breast MRI to make sure we got it all. She made me feel comfortable, relaxed and that I was in good hands.

But I still had another interview with Dr. "D" at Hackensack Hospital. Hackensack also has a wonderful reputation. We waited an hour to see the doctor factoring that into our decision of who we would choose. Dr. "D" was competent and professional giving me another breast exam and brief consult. I've never been felt up so much in my life, at least not by professionals. But the overall feeling at Hackensack felt like I was in a factory. A cancer factory.

We proceeded to meet with an Oncologist who we loved, but realized we would not really need him until the end. He suggested we concentrate on getting a good Breast Surgeon and I told him I was in the process and shared my experiences with him. He suggested I meet with the best Breast Surgeon on staff at Hackensack, Dr. "W" and he made a call to get me an appt the following week. I trusted and liked him so I agreed to meet with Dr. "W".

The following week we were back and Hackensack Medical and once again waited an hour and a half. Dr. "W" gave me the most thorough breast exam of all and diagnosed me the same as the others. lumpectomy and radiation unless the second biopsy came in malignant. Professional and competent but no more than that. She was very clinical.

We decided to go with Dr. "M" from Engelwood because of her bed side manner, we loved the hospital, short wait time, and she was the only one that insisted on the breast MRI.

We chose well! The breast MRI showed a third nodule which no one else would have caught.
I proceeded to the second biopsy which revealed more malignant calcification's which now meant that the simple lumpectomy and radiation would now be a mastectomy and reconstruction.

This is your body and your journey. As I said to Dr. "W", "This may be a paper cut to you, because you do this everyday, but its my paper cut and I will choose who will take me on this hopefully short journey in the best way possible".

I felt in charge. Responsible for my health and empowered that I had choices about who would make this journey the most comfortable.

I felt sorry for the women I interviewed in Dr. "G's" waiting room. How may were being mis-diagnosed and treated like a herd of sheep.

This is your journey, body and life. Take charge and know that you have options.